The reality of being a special needs mom is MANY tears will be shed. I’m just going to be frank about it. As most of us know, being a natural-born nurturer simply gets overwhelming at times for the standard mom. So, imagine throwing in the daily complexities of being a special needs mom on top of the norm. It’s no cake walk people!
I recently read a post by a fellow special needs mom who was struggling with some feelings she had after a long and tiring week. She felt down because many things on her ‘Things To Do’ List were not completed that week. She was simply emotionally drained.
I Get It
I could completely relate to her feelings because I felt the same every day, week, and month for years. So I did my best to reassure her that she is not alone in her feelings and that brighter days were coming.
Being a special needs mom can be lonely at times. It doesn’t matter if you have a strong personal and professional support system or not. Truth be told, feelings have a tenancy to take over at times. And when they do, they take over YOUR brain, not everyone else’s.
Private Tears Only
So it’s only natural that when we feel the strong urge to open up the flood gates of tears, we prefer to do it in private. Where there are no judging eyes or ears. There are no insensitive comments like, “It could be worse”. Private is where it’s safe to let loose all the pain that’s been bottled up, without someone just looking on as if it there was a real-life Lifetime movie playing out before their eyes.
As a special needs mom I’ve heard many say (mostly therapists) that tears are healthy. To not feel ashamed to cry in front of others. And that once the last tear has dropped you’ll feel refreshed and renewed. Well….To each their own, but I am here to tell you I don’t share the same feelings. Crying makes me feel numb and horrible, like an empty vessel. All tapped out.
Crying in public will probably NEVER be something I am comfortable with. I will continue to rush to the nearest bathroom because its super embarrassing for me to cry in public, or at home with my kids around.
It’s embarrassing to cry in public because as much as its extremely hard being a special needs mom, I don’t want the whole world witnessing my sadness and frustration. Honestly I get tired of crying. I get tired of day in day out with no support in my home. Yes I have a therapist and pray. But when you are a parent that doesn’t have a personal support system it’s draining. And based on my personal experience people who hear about your struggles get tired of hearing about it (unless they are paid to listen) To others you may appear negative and eventually they become immune to you sadness, concerns, and tears.
Hold On Special Needs Mom
Now don’t get me wrong, I have good days, but ONLY another special needs parent REALLY gets the daily struggle. Another special needs parent will always understand a special needs mom’s tears, because they shed tear themselves.
So if you are reading this, and this post applies to you, try to do as I do. Hold onto the good that happens in life. We are not perfect, and never will be. But guess what? It’s OK. The tears that will be shed are a natural response to some of the struggles we face. There is no doubt about it, WE ARE STRONG. With and without tears. Our kids are a blessing and we were chosen to be parents to some of the most amazing children on earth!
Hold on. I understand.
Source: Olena Rosanne